Are you in a relationship where he always makes you wonder whether he has any feelings for you at all? He’s hot and he’s cold and you don’t know what to think? Looking for signs he’s not into you? Need some relationship advice? Luckily for you, I have it. So, here is the truth…
Signs that he’s not into you
He’s playing hot and cold
There may be a variety of reasons why he is doing that: he may be not that interested in you; he may be considering other options (which automatically means that he’s not that into you); he may be trying to make you fall in love with him (sick manipulation just to boost his own confidence – he has some psychological issues); he may be scared to fall in love first (which means he has some psychological issues as well). Whatever the reason may be, such kind of behavior is unacceptable. You should not tolerate it. Distance from that guy, show him that you’re not that desperate to tolerate such ill treatment. Make him wonder whether YOU are into him or not.
He’s a mystery
You don’t know who his friends are; he doesn’t want to tell you where he is going in the evening; he doesn’t tell you small things about himself. He’s a mystery guy. The truth is that if he was truly into you, he would want to know EVERYTHING about you and tell you EVERYTHING about himself. He would be looking for things you have in common. So, being too mysterious is one of clear signs he’s not that into you.
He makes you think you’re not the only one
If he often tells you about his female friends, about his past relationships or makes you think he’s seeing somebody else besides you, RUN. Run away from him because a guy who values you would never want you to think that there’s somebody else in his life. Do you know why? Because it will probably make you want to stop seeing him which is a totally normal reaction. So if he tells you that kind of stuff, he wants to hurt you and he does it on purpose. Would you want to hurt someone you love? That’s some kind of sick love which is not something to hold on to either. Maybe he also wants you to compete for him with other women. But why would you do that? Unless your level of self-respect is 0 or you’re new to dating. Either way, don’t get hooked. As I said before, run away.
He doesn’t care if you’re seeing someone else
If he’s into you, he’ll turn red and then pale and then red again because of anger and jealousy should you mention or even hint that he’s not the only option you have. If you don’t see that happening and moreover, if he starts joking after you hint that there might be another guy – he’s indifferent whether you choose the other guy or stay with him.
He flirts with other women when he’s with you
Stop telling yourself that he’s just being nice with the waitress. It’s quite easy to distinguish flirting from being polite. If he’s in love with you, it means that there’s no room for other women in his heart. If there’s some room left, well…now you know that it’s one of the signs he’s not into you and can move on and look for someone who will appreciate and value you. Don’t settle for less.
He seems to be too busy for you
He texts you once a week or something; he answers you hours after you’ve sent a message even though you know he’s not that busy; he doesn’t have time to go out with you; he says he’s “too busy” at work/college/home, etc? But people always make time for what is important to them, right? If he was in love with you, he would be afraid to lose you, so he would find time for you anyway. Moreover, he would crave to see you, so he would put you above everything else.
He doesn’t want to spend money on you
Believe me, if he’s head over heels in love with you, he will want to buy you something nice as a gift even with no reason or take you to a beautiful place or surprise you in another way just to make you happy. If he doesn’t want to spend a dime on you – he doesn’t think you’re worth it.
He doesn’t want you to meet his friends or family
If he’s in love with you, he will probably tell his friends and family about you and want you to meet them because he has nothing to hide. If he’s with you for wrong reasons, he won’t see a point in introducing you to people that are important to him. Moreover, his friends and family most probably know how he really feels about you, so they may tell you things he wouldn’t want you to know.
He says you need to change
If he wants to change you, he is not really okay with something in you. He tells you to wear more girly clothes or do something with your hair? Someone who is afraid to lose you won’t tell you to change, especially if you have just started dating. If he’s in love with you the way you are, he doesn’t want to change you and that’s a healthy relationship.
He doesn’t talk about your future together
That’s because he doesn’t see his future with you. Fortunately. Who needs that kind of treatment anyway?
He’s never there for you
You rush to help him when he’s in trouble or to comfort him when he’s sad? In his turn, he doesn’t care much about you and your feelings? He’s not that into you and that’s a sign that you should part with him.
He makes up stories
By stories I mean lies. If he appreciates and respects you, he will not lie to you. Do you sometimes wonder if he tells you the truth because of how improbable some of his stories are? Something like he wanted to meet you but unexpectedly, he fell sick or was attacked by a gang and they stole his phone, etc. Sometimes it even seems that life is extremely unfair to him. Well, probably he’s not a cute poor thing but just a disgusting liar. If he wanted to see you more often, he certainly would do it.
He doesn’t care about your opinion
Is there anything I should explain? People always value opinions of other people they respect and care about.
He is not worried about you and your safety
He lets you go home alone in the evening? He doesn’t make sure you are okay? You’re not going to like the truth I have to tell. If he’s not worried whether you are safe and sound, he doesn’t care that much about you.
He asks you to lend him money
If he is in love with you, you will be the last person he would borrow money from because it’s about his dignity. He wouldn’t want you to think he’s unable to make money or that he’s using you (your money). Even if he has financial problems, he will rather ask his friends or family to help him out, not you. You are not supposed to solve his problems! If he’s in love with you, he will want to solve yours because taking responsibility is in men’s nature.
And remember, he knows exactly what he’s doing. Stop looking for excuses for his behavior. Save yourself and value your time. Don’t let any guy ruin your life.
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