People are not supposed to like you just like you are not supposed to like other people. However, you might have this feeling as if everyone hates you. If you do have this feeling and it makes you dislike other people in return or makes you shy, paranoid, or anxious, this article is what you need.
If you experience social anxiety, you should know that you are not the only person with the fear of socializing. Also, you should know that it is just your mind playing games with you. Check out this article to find out how to overcome social phobia or at least reduce the negative effect it has on your life.
Our mind is a very complex thing, so it is not easy to understand the reasons why you behave this or that way and why your mind keeps deceiving you. Being a huge sociophobe myself in the past, I’m going to list some lies your mind may be telling you.
People stare at me
That’s a lie. Most strangers don’t care about your looks or actually anything in you. All people are concerned with their own appearance, their responsibilities, problems, etc. The only person thinking about you is you, so relax!
I understand people, people don’t understand me
Lie again. All people come from different backgrounds and have different mindsets. So, in fact, no one can understand another person fully. You build the image of another person based on your assumptions. Even if a person tells you that they like ice cream, you can’t be sure to what extent they like ice cream and you don’t know what they would do to get ice cream. So, it’s all about the way you feel about ice cream. The limit of your imagination is you, if you get me. It means that people mostly don’t understand each other. Neither you understand them nor you are understood. So, what is the point being sad or anxious about it? One wise person once said: “Don’t treat people as bad as they are, treat them as good as you are.” That’s mostly it. You do your best and get rid of your expectations. Other people may do whatever they want. Don’t overthink.
All people can see that I am insecure
What seems obvious to you, is not obvious to others. No one can get into your head and find out that you are anxious. If you focus on the thought that all people know how anxious you are, your hands will start trembling, the pulse will rise, and you may even have a panic attack. In this case, people will notice that you are not okay, but it still doesn’t mean that they will find out that you’re a sociophobe. No one who is a not a sociophobe can fully understand a sociophobe.
You should understand that no one is thinking about you the way you are thinking about yourself at this moment. People around you are indifferent, bored, some are sad, some are happy, some are anxious about the way they look, etc. Unless you come up to them and tell out loud that you are beyond anxious and insecure, they won’t know. In fact, even if you do this, no one really cares.
I am not beautiful enough/ I am ugly
Let’s imagine, you are walking down the street and strangers glance at you. What would you think? “I must look incredible” or “They look at me because I am ugly”? The truth is that different people look at you for different reasons. Some may think that you remind them of their classmate, some may find you beautiful, some may like your bag, some are just curious, some looked at you accidentally. You can’t read people’s minds anyway, so there is no point is guessing and overthinking.
People think that I am not rich enough
The desire to showcase your wealth can make you buy expensive things you don’t actually need or want. The wealthier you are, the less you need to brag. However, if you find yourself paying too much attention to wealth, think why it matters to you so much. Next step is understanding that not all people are like you and what seems important to you may be a trifle to others. So, this is your mindset only. If you are sure that people won’t treat you well if you don’t have a new iPhone or an expensive car, that’s the kind of people you choose to be around. There are people who care about spirituality, kindness, care, arts, whatever besides money. So, if you find yourself thinking what others will think about your clothes/phone/car, etc., maybe you do the same towards others?